We’ve only gone and done it!!!!

Some of you know me, some of you don’t, for those who don’t, I’m not a keep fit person. The idea of exercise is enough to make me sweat without actually having to slip into lycra. I consider taking the laundry up to the top level of our 3 storey town house more than adequate, and if I cant park within arms reach of the supermarket door I will drive around the carpark again until I find a closer space.

A day at the beach consists of the hubby running about on the sand, in a David Walliams (not Hasslehoff) type way with the boys whilst I sit on the blanket guarding the ham baguettes. Don’t get me wrong, I am the first to volunteer to walk to get the ice creams, but in all honesty that is as far as it goes.

If you are not a follower on my Instagram (raisingcubs) you also will have missed the hourly updates yesterday as my youngest cub learnt how to ride a bike without his support wheels! It was momentus, it made me cry, his little body, long gangly legs and helmet head whizzing up and down was just fabulous.

I am now going to link the above two events.

1. I do not do exercise

2. L cub can ride a bike unaided

 

We found ourselves in Halfords, getting his tyre fixed, whilst we were in there, I was drawn to the shiny bikes, the clean, shiny wheels, the chrome brakes, the cutest shopping basket, you can even get a TomTom for your bike!?

Within 10 minutes I was cruising around the shop on a bike, roughly 4 inches to tall for me, but wow, it was fun! Dodging all the small people dragged in there by their parents, a huge amount of scrotum was on show, as it seems, cycling sportswear leaves nothing to the imagination.

‘Wouldn’t it be fun if you and Dad got a bike too Mum’ I heard him say………..

So that’s what we did!

Fuck it, we don’t smoke, we don’t go out much, we aren’t going on holiday this year, lets do it!

I only spent about 10 minutes gliding around the top floor of Halfords, but approx 4 hours later the pain began…….I wasn’t aware I had a bone in my undercarriage……….until now. Jesus, I am the most non boney person on the planet but even I had cyclist saddle!

We collect our bikes on Thursday, I may need to ask for an improvement on the sadde……..can you do that?? Can you openly chat to the orange t-shirt wearers about fanny pain???

Now, as we are new to this biking thing, we don’t have a bike rack, so on Thursday evening, Mr RaisingCubs and my good self will be cycling home from Halfords, I will upload some footage of this on my Instagram stories, so if you want a laugh, or want to send a taxi please follow!

If you have any tips please share, any tips at all on how to continue with a sex life whilst riding a bike???? (by this I don’t mean can we have sex whilst riding a bike…….although that could be interesting)

Of course, my three year old, who mastered bike riding yesterday, has been giving me lots of advice, if I eat an apple I will cycle quicker, If I look straight ahead my nose wont itch, and if I fart at the bottom of a hill it will help me get up it………………hill??? wtf??? I am not doing hills!!!!

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I do get lots of messages asking about Ls clothes……………I am going to add a few outfits to the end of each blog, that should help those of you who are interested, but, of course, anything I miss please feel free to message me x x

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Top and Trousers both from http://www.growing-needs.co.uk

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Top and Trousers from http://www.growing-needs.co.uk

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Top from @marmaladesky – jeans from http://www.growing-needs.co.uk

Not sure you want to read this???

My youngest cub is a dream. From birth he has been an ‘easy’ child. He slept, he fed, he played happily for hours……he was a typical third child who just had to fit in. I often joked that one day he would change, that he would give payback for being such a joy. I think this payback occurred yesterday.

Yesterday, we had lunch out……..I have irritable bowel syndrome, meaning, once I’ve eaten I have, at the most, an hour before (I physically shit myself) I need a bowel movement.

Once we arrived home, following a 30 minute ass clenched drive, I could barely get the key in the door………’mummy really needs the toilet darling’ I hurriedly explained……..’ok mama you go first’

He didn’t appreciate this wasn’t an option, I flew in the front door, charged into the loo, Oh. My. God that was a close call…….was over in a matter of seconds (sorry)

It was at this point I realised there was just an empty toilet roll sitting on the side of the sink……..damn……….I looked around and there really was no tissue 😱😱😱😱

‘darling, can you get mummy some tissue please?’

‘I can’t mama, I’m lying on the lounge floor’

‘please sweetheart, mummy is stuck on the toilet and I need tissue’

long pause

‘mama I asked Lightning McQueen and he said we can’t help you’

ffs

‘If you don’t get me some tissue I can’t play with you………..

(that’s bound to work)

‘Its ok mama………….I’m going to play with the dog, you can stay in the toilet all day if you want to??????

Thats pretty much how the next 40 minutes of my life continued……..

For the first time in my life I contemplated wiping my arse on a can of hairspray………..

Eventually, after 3 hours (45 minutes) he appeared at the door, he had Nemo under his arm, (I seriously would) ‘Mama, I have got you some tissue, Mater said I should’ he beamed from ear to ear, I was so relieved, my ass was stinging, my knees aching, I’ve never loved anyone more in my life than at this moment……..then he handed me the tissue…….on the back of a fucking Paw Patrol car…….approx 1cm square……IMG_5218

Our adventure at Little Street!

Soft play centres are my idea of Hell, literally, I would rather set fire to my hair than spend an hour of my time rolling around in other kids snot…….defending my jug of juice on the table against rogue small people, dodging those blasted balls from the hair bobble infested ball pit as they repeatedly skim my face…….errrr no thank you!

So when we were invited to visit Little Street in Maidstone, I did actually think twice.

However, we packed our rucksack and off we ventured……IMG_3779

 

IMG_3756.JPGIronically we were the first there, it is situated on the 1st floor in the Royal Star Arcade in Maidstone. Lots of nearby parking and access via lift or stairs. I have to say I was blown away by the welcome Β received from Hannah and the team. It was so bright, so clean, we couldn’t wait to venture inside!

There is a buggy park inside and an intimate coffee shop, serving hot and cold drinks, cakes, treats and healthy nibbles for the small people. We ditched our bags and went off to explore.

We were met with a huge wooden ‘climb aboard’ fire engine πŸš’ parked right in the middle of a road……a choice of vehicles that the small people enjoyed whizzing around on. Little Street is exactly that…….it’s a miniature row of role play activities. From the stage to the dressing room, the prison cell to the learning zone, to the hospital, the post office, the coffee shop and the stables, the builders yard and back to the centre piece.

I felt excited, forget the kids for a minute, this place was beyond cool!!! Everywhere I looked mums were smiling, actually interacting with their smalls…… I’m not convinced the lady on the stage rocking out on an electric guitar was doing it for her son, but either way they were both so happy!!

The shop was my personal favourite, mini shopping trolleys πŸ›’ and baskets, a superb selection of fruit and veg, real packing that can be found in the kitchen at home…….I have to say it was beyond all expectations!

Little Street had a serene feel, compared to ‘soft play’ it was calm……children were actually playing, methodical, engaging play.

The coffee shop (the real one) was situated very close so even when sitting and enjoying that moment of peace you could see them, I even got handed a wig and a waffle through a window!!!!

sessions are 90 minutes long, just long enough, long enough to leave them wanting more. He wasn’t ready to go, and I hadn’t groomed the horses yet but next time 😜

Im a firm believer in learning through play, and the resources apply to a wide age group. He loved posting the letters in the relevant numbered post boxes, as much as the babies enjoyed emptying them!

All in all we had a fab day! I’d highly recommend it, its educational yet fun, free play yet engaging, a safe enabling environment……..it’s opens Monday 27th…….get yourselves down there!!!

 

@growingneeds @beauhudson @jujube @mini_rodini

 

 

It’s all about cost per wear……

Today a lady said to me that she loved the boys clothes, she said they looked amazing…..she then said that I must spend a fortune on dressing them.

Its not the first time this has been said to me, so I thought I’d write a bit about it.

When I was pregnant with my first child I spent weeks cruising the shops looking at beautiful, clothes, tiny pink dresses, miniature denim dungarees, I loved Next, Zara gave me goosebumps, Mothercare became my best friend.

My son was born, people came to visit and gave wonderful gifts, there’s nothing nicer than buying cute baby clothes. It dawned on me at week 8, that his whole wardrobe looked the same……first world problems I hear you cry, but it was, and still is important to me that they look presentable.

Ive always believed that how you look on the outside reflects how you feel on the inside…..

Fast forward 12 years and my final baby arrives, another boy…….you would think in over a decade there would be more choice, but the high street looked the same as it did last time I dressed a baby. I was bored, it was boring. It came to a head when I went to a mother and baby group and 2 other babies were wearing the same as mine. They all looked gorgeous, but they weren’t unique, there was no personality.

So I began my search, the internet was there, which is a good job because during the immense night feeds I learnt to balance my phone between boob and baby and surf. Β It was incredible! 3am shopping is epic, some days parcels would arrive and I wouldn’t even remember ordering them 🀣🀣🀣

Thats how it began……I signed up to newsletters, which always gives a ‘first shop’ discount code, clothes arrived with sweets and cute notes, and I became friendly with a few stores. I realised it was more than just shopping. These indies depend on our business.

Yes, I can buy a cheaper coat for them, of course, but who makes it? Where is it made? What is it made from? How long will it last? What will the resale value be?

So I sat down and worked out the cost per wear………

jeans, super cute and worn daily……..works out at pence per wear……good ones wear well, wash well, so we don’t need as many pairs…..

A good quality coat……worn daily, covered in mud, dragged under bushes, washes so well, dries over night, made ethically, by adults who are paid good money, organic material……sells on for 50% of what I paid……..less than pennies per wear

So, in response, cost per wear, no I don’t spend a fortune.

Dirty knees are just adorable, grubby faces mean a great day out, clothes hanging on the washing line that still look like new after multiple washes…….priceless.

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Where do you put enormous boobs??

I can’t lie, it’s been a manic, stressful period in the cubs lair, not sure my ass has touched the sofa, (although the moon shaped imprint says different) but it all started when some knobjockey drove into my car!!!! I’ve never been in a car accident but I wasn’t prepared for the physical and emotional effects, that said, and as shit as it’s been, I like to look for the silver lining……this silver lining came in the form of my new Physio. I’ve never been asked to take my top off and lay down without being bought a drink first, but I’m game for most things 😜

For those of you who have never met me, I have giant boobs…….almost airbags, bigger than my own head, bigger than my husbands head infact (and he’s a lion)……they are so big that my bras cost a mortgage repayment and last time I pegged one to the washing line, a small family of badgers moved into the left cup. So when my physio told me to lay on my front, I really wasn’t sure what to say!!!!! I tried to tuck them out the sides, one under each armpit but then I couldn’t let my arms hang, they wouldn’t fit through the head hold in the beauty couch, so Fuck it, under the chin they went. This meant that I was face down, tits under my chin, and dribble falling from my squashed face every time I tried to talk. Not good I thought. What was worse though was when he told me to flip over onto my back. FLIP OVER??? as if that’s easy……..because turning over on a beauty couch on collapsible legs in front of a man you only just met, covered in dribble (me, not the man) was never gonna be pretty…..and it wasnt.

I managed it….but as I looked down, my boobs were balancing on the lace edge of my hammock…..I mean bra 😜

All in all…….I’m not sure physio is for me, but I’m not a quitter…….

In the world of the cubs it’s as eventful as ever, my biggest is going through a trying time, 15 is a tough age, I hated it, he’s not loving it, but we will get through it…….my middle man is off to America next month to represent Kent in football. He’s super excited and I’m super shitting myself. I like to have them all home…….it’s a Mum thing I think. The smallest cub is busy asserting himself, he’s so ready for school, ready to fly, I’m not sure what I’ll do without my little sidekick……….but having a shit in peace will be nice.

I went away for the weekend and took my youngest with me, it was a meeting with a group of rainbow families……by this I refer to my Angel sons, a rainbow is the term given to a child born following a loss. We are united through heartache and again, they are the silver lining.

Going away brings its own stress, packing!! God it’s something I hate!! However, I found a new brand of bag that has changed my life!!! Jujube!! If you have never owned one, they are definitely worth looking into……..my rucksack is self balancing!!! It even has a lining in that won’t rot alongside the apple that will get left in it and tossed under the stairs!!! Two drinks holders, so I won’t have to share with ‘babygotbackwash’ …….. and it’s super padded back panel meant I couldn’t even feel the transformers inside…..that for me is win win!! If you want to find out more pop over to http://www.growing-needs.co.ukIMG_2759

 

Monday

img_2396I want to share with you our wonderful news, following a shaky start, and something we feared may never be possible, I’m overjoyed to announce, we now have a super king sized bed!! It was touch and go as you know but it arrived, and is built and fits all 3 of us with a few inches spare!

I was lying in said wonderful new love pit last night, in new crisp white sheets, new feather down duvet and new memory foam pillows (hope to God they help my memory) and I was woken from my semi doze…….I was woken by the most horrific smell. Holy Fuckballs I was wretching, I turned to shout as the husband (farting in the bed has been banned for the moment) and I simply could not believe my eyes!! He wasn’t even in the bed…..this meant the smell came from me!!!! I must be ill??? I must have shit myself??? I begin looking for the offending item amongst the sheets…….nothing…….

I settle back down, began to drift off, my irritating cough begins again on cue……Jesus sweet lord, the smell……it’s my fucking breath!!!! I’m making myself feel sick!!!!!

I’m not sure why I shared that particular story with you??!

Moving on πŸ›΅πŸ›΅

Our shower plug hole seems to be blocked. I have spent many a half hour on my knees pulling all sorts of items out the drain using tweezers. A razor head, hair, the odd clinker (thanks darling) tissue, the list goes on. I gave in and bought some drain unblocker. It was a powder, you pour down the drain and wait. So I did, and I waited…….I was looking at the powder that hadn’t gone down the drain and decided to rub it into the plug hole……it was so therapeutic, round and round, shiny and exfoliating…….then…….the bastard burn!

My fingers were burning, intense, set on fire burning πŸ”₯ πŸ”₯ had to hold those bad boys under running water for 15 minutes…..anyway, the shower is extra clean but still blocked, and my fingers are bright red and sore, oh and my tooth snapped in half whilst eating fusilli for tea…….other than that it’s been a terrific day 🀣🀣🀣

I own another Teen!

img_1955Today, my middle child (poor love) became a teenager. I know most parents say ‘it only feels like yesterday he was crawling around’, ‘I blinked and he’s all grown up’. Wtf are they talking about???

Jesus it’s been a long hard slog! I mean just a school run with him insisting on ‘riding’ his bike took at least a year 🚴

Dinner, well each meal time with a self starving child was a good 6 months long, he didn’t sleep for what felt like about 25years, and he cried solidly for the first 3 years of his life 😳😳😳😳

I can honestly say, by my reckoning he’s at least 47 years old today.

That aside, today has been magical, shopping with a companion like Dylan is pure joy. He just wants to buy it all, it’s like shopping with myself pre children when I spent money on me. (I feel like I’ve treated myself if I buy a box of tampax, and I expect a whole outfit for myself for under a tenner but think nothing of buying a Β£40 jumper for an infant) (why is this???)

He chose a visit to ‘cheeky Nandos’ for lunch, am I the only one who expects more than a wing and a chip for Β£14!? I’m more a tapas kinda girl but sadly hubby is a meat man, and 8 bowls on the table with tomato infused veg is something I do with the girls only.

We finished off the day with a 2 hour journey home, 30 miles in distance but 2 hours, 2 hours with tired kids, my smallest cub repeatedly shouting ‘vagina’ at the top of his voice and my newly appointed teen trying to do a fashion show whilst wearing a seatbelt.

However, we are now home, I’m on the red and the birthday boy hasn’t stopped grinning from ear to ear. I now plan on swallowing a huge slab of cake, that’s exactly as I started the day too.

So, that’s Valentine’s Day RaisingCubs style…..and that’s exactly what it’s about, it’s the same as every other day, spending it with those you love, doing things you love.